fledge capable of flying, from Middle English flegge, from Old English -flycge; akin to Old High German flucki capable of flying,
Old English flEogan to fly -- more at FLY
intransitive verb, of a young bird : to acquire the feathers necessary for flight or independent activity

Friday, March 30, 2007

Sins of omission

I forget birthdays. I don't say "thank you" enough. I take the most important people in my life for granted. I lose touch with my friends.

I received this stack of Christmas cards back. These people have moved. Moved on. I've moved on. Mostly: My life is very full, very busy, and yet, in my heart there are little holes in the shapes of Susanne, Kate, Melynda, Melissa, Catherine ...

Oh sure, I've got this Internet thing down pretty good. I can google a name and can find out sometimes where my old friends' lives have headed since we last brunched all day or listened to flamenco all night or woke up on a beach one morning. Before now. Before the kids and the mortgage and the Tax Franchise Board Form 100 and the change in tier in health insurance and the soccer snack duty and the five-twenty-nine and the Roth four-oh-one-kay and the index fund and the somebody else's hair in the sink. But many times, I just don't know where my friends are and what happens and happened to them. I've heard that life is not about acquiring things; it's about giving up things. As a mom, I have to give up my children a little bit everyday. I say goodbye a little to my little children everyday. I get to say hello to the young people they are becoming, everyday, as well. And that fills me with joy. But there's still those tiny holes in my heart.

Maybe these old friends will find my blog. I kind of hope they do. The Welcome mat is there. That's probably part of what a blog is: "Hello, Kate! I'm here. I'm glad you're here. I got older. But it happened faster than I thought it would and I miss you."

Susanne, I did google your name this morning. You have created such beauty. I'm so proud to have known you.


SABINE said...

Nancy, master of well chosen words.....

Es geht mir genauso, keine zeit für alte freunde, es sei denn sie sind in der Nähe und haben ebenfalls kinder....selbst dann sieht man sich nur selten.
Wenn man Kinder hat, ändern sich sooo viele Prioritäten, aber sie sind das Grösste, was mir passiert ist.

GLG, Sabine

mooi hoor... said...

Oh yes, Nancy how right you are - and how we all feel those little holes in our hearts.

We feel it and then we think about the exact matching shape of memories in our heads. And one day, (when we're really old I hope) - our head will be full but our heart still won't be empty. Just tired. And I guess we will be happy about it, because nothing is worse than a unused heart.

I love it how your posts make me think. And we wouldn't know we were flying if we didn't know about the drag, would we?


Claudia said...

Liebe Nancy,
dein Post rührt mich fast zu Tränen,es stimmt einen nachdenklich und du hast Recht.Wir alle haben bestimmt ein kleines Loch im Herzen.Es ist aber auch schön in Erinnerungen zu schwelgen.
Das Leben mit unseren Kindern ist Gewaltig anders- schön auf andere Art und Weise-das größte was uns passiert ist wie Sabine schon gesagt hat.

Katalina said...

liebe nancy,

machs dir nicht zu schwer. de musst nicht waehlen zwischen kindern und freunden, alles hat seine zeit.

jeden tag ein bisschen mehr loslassen. zuschauen, wie sie erwachsen werden. taeglich abschied nehmen - erst vom winzigen baby, dann von kleinkind, schulkind, teenager, dann heiraten sie, ziehen in die welt. das ist die schoenste und wichtigste zeit, einmal und nicht reproduzierbar.

ein freund ist auch dann noch ein frend, wenn man sich erst nach jahren wiedertrifft. man sieht sich, nimmt sich in den arm und es waere, als ob man erst gestern auseinanderging.

it's takes a long time to grow an old friend. and: old friends are the best because
* they really understand you
* you share a history
* they speake your language
* you an look back on happy times
* you can go a long time without talking to them and then start where you left them off

wie oft sage ich mir: heute schreibe ich die email, heute melde ich mich endlich mal wieder. dann ist der tag rum.
aber sei gewiss, die gedanken haben fluegel und manchmal erreichen sie dich als flaschenpost.

ganz viele liebe gruesse

Bowznstuff said...

oh Nancy, I have little pieces of me left with friends all over the world - some I don't think I will ever see again. :( Some I have managed to see again but the last time I said good-bye to them I was fairly certain that I will never see them again. I remember them all, I don't know if they remember me. And yet I spend vast amounts of time with people everyday that really aren't my friends.
Sending my love to all of you with lost friends


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